No way gag

Heretic Marvin: It's over th... 

Inquisitor Julius: I don't remember askin' you a God-Emperor damn thing! You were saying? 

Cultist Roger: It's in the cupboard. [Acolyte Vincentius starts looking in the upper cupboard] 

Cultist Roger: No, no, the one by your kn-knees. 

Inquisitor Julius: We happy? [Acolyte Vincentius continues staring at the briefcase's contents] 

Inquisitor Julius: Acolyte Vincentius! We happy? 

Acolyte Vincentius: Yeah, we happy, my lord. 

Cult leader Brettus: I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. I got yours, Acolyte Vincentius, right? But I didn't get yours... 

Inquisitor Julius: My name's Purge. And your heretic ass ain't talkin' your way out of this shit. 

Cult leader Brettus: No, no, I just want you to know... I just want you to know how sorry we are that things got so fucked up with us and Lord Inquisitor Marsellius. We got into this thing with the best intentions and I never... 

Inquisitor Julius: [Inquisitor Julius shoots the heretic on the couch] I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. What does Lord Inquisitor Marsellius look like? 

Cult leader Brettus: What? 

Inquisitor Julius: What segmentum are you from? 

Cult leader Brettus: What? What? Wh - ? 

Inquisitor Julius: "What" ain't no segmentum I've ever heard of. They speak Low Gothic in What? 

Cult leader Brettus: What? 

Inquisitor Julius: Low Gothic, daemonfucker, do you speak it? 

Cult leader Brettus: Yes! Yes! 

Inquisitor Julius: Then you know what I'm sayin'! 

Cult leader Brettus: Yes! Inquisitor Julius: Describe what Lord Inquisitor Marsellius looks like! 

Cult leader Brettus: What? 

Inquisitor Julius: Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, i double dare you, daemonfucker! Now tell me what does Lord Inquisitor Marsellius look like! 

Cult leader Brettus: He... he's wearing power armour... 

Inquisitor Julius: Go on... 

Cult leader Brettus: He's bald 

Inquisitor Julius: Does he look like a heathen heretic? 

Cult leader Brettus: What? 

Inquisitor Julius: [Shoots Cult leader Brettus in the shoulder] DOES HE LOOK LIKE A HEATHEN HERETIC? 

Cult leader Brettus: No! 

Inquisitor Julius: Then why you try to fuck him like a heathen heretic? 

Cult leader Brettus: I didn't... 

Inquisitor Julius: Yes you did. Yes you did! You tried to fuck him. And Lord Inquisitor Marsellius don't like to be fucked by anybody except Lady Inquisitor Argentia. Inquisitor Julius: "You read the Lectitio Divinatus, Brettus?" 

Cult leader Brettus: "Yes!" 

Inquisitor Julius: "Well, there's this passage I've got memorized that sort of fits this occasion. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of the evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of Holy God-Emperor of Mankind shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly an armoured gauntlet about His fist and the edge of His sword. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know that I am the end when I lay my vengeance upon thee!"

A New Kind of Space Marine [SFM]

Caught in the chaos