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®Jje IHlgetouier (Ejepigitor From Verdant Heights to Twisted Girder - the first with your local news VOL II / #53 265.003.M42 PRICE: 1 CREDIT CHIEF EDITOR: MAXIMILLIAN OVERTON III OFFICE OF PUBLICATION: 76, RUSTED SUMP WAY, BILGEWATER CREEK PAPER OR NEAREST EQUIVALENT PROVIDED BY DRAGO ORGANIC RECYC, PULPING AND SLURRY MILLS OUR SETTLEMENT CELEBRATES FIRST ANNIVERSARY ! HOLO-SCOPE OF VERDANT HEIGHTS "The settlement... has nothing hut greatness ahead of it." It seems like only yesterday that the dome we now know as Bilgewater became our home. Exactly a year ago today the first enterprising Prospectors arrived. They quickly set about clearing away the debris that through hive quakes and neglect had sealed off this region from the rest of the Hive for centuries. The ancient ghost town was resuscitated. Old generators whirred into life and forgotten mine shafts were reopened. Settlers came from the lower Hive to harvest the spore caves, and life blossomed. Other entrepreneurs soon followed -- miners need to buy their picks and shovels from somewhere, and everybody needs a hearty meal and a place to drink at the end of a long day gathering algae. The little hamlets that had sprung up soon became thriving, bustling communities: Twisted Girder, Verdant Heights, Algae Falls. Spore River, Rusted Sump and the first of them all - our magnificent capital - Bilgewater Creek. The naysayers said that it wouldn't work. They said the structures were weak and the infrastructure corrupt; that whilst many an honest businessman was ready to provide goods for the Hivers’ credits, there would be a greater criminal element looking to take even more credits - simply in exchange for allowing the Hiver to keep breathing. Whilst Bilgewater does have its criminal element, it is no greater than any other part of the Underhive. Indeed some say that it adds colour and variety to the settlement ......... REPENT! ______________WARNING REDEMPTION IS COMING TO BILGEWATER CREEK This notice was paid for by the Krell Yards Hast Chapter of the United Redeniptionist Church —..... and keeps one on their toes! The fine Arbites of Precinct 31 do an outstanding job of enforcing Helmawr’s Law, despite the fact that they are over-stretched. I shall hazard as much as saying that Bilgewater is nothing less than a beacon of civilisation in the Undcrhive. The arts, culture and the theatre are well represented, for example I hear that Madame Orchid's dancers put on quite the show. The settlement continues to grow at an outstanding rate and has nothing but greatness ahead of it. The naysayers were notable for their absence yesterday when it seemed that the whole settlement was assembled in the Old Market Square to celebrate the first birthday of our fine settlement, with only the most minor of disturbances occurring. So, a happy first birthday to all of Bilgewater and here's to many more! - Maximillian Overton III, Chief Editor NOTICE OF CORRECTION The editors wish to inform readers that 'Hairy Harry' was "brutally killed” in the battle down on the trans-rail, not "beautifully curled" as was reported in some editions of our paper last week. EYE FOR AN EYE Several bodies found with eyes removed A group of mycologists and botanists travelling in search of a sample of the "Sarcoscypha Concalfactorius" found something other than the prized fungus whilst exploring close to the Flotsam Marshes. Several bodies were found in a nearby underpass, each with their eyes removed. Arbites Tcch-Division specialists analysing the scene reported apparent signs of a struggle but have been unable to cast any further light on the mystery. It has been suggested that this may have been part of a black market organ harvesting operation, but all other organs were present on the victims. There is also speculation that they fell prey to a new strain of Ripper Jacks. The Arbites Special Containment Team led by Sergeant Kaltos will be making a full patrol of the area this week. GUILDER'S EXCHANGE INDEX Prices given per hundredweight Percantile change in comparison to previous Primus Calendar Month Adonite Crystal 61 cred/cwt +3.11% Calderite 49 cred/cwt +2.30% Carnotite Gems 67 cred/cwt - 4.76% Ign. Adamantoritc 53 cred/cwt - 1.01% Iron Mould 109 cred/cwt +5.02% Iron Slag 15 cred/cwt Pearl Spore 89 cred/cwt - 2.93% Sparstone 42 cred/cwt +2.52% UNHAPPY HOUR Reformed Temperance League Militia Attacks Bar Not all of the Hivers of Bilgewater had cause for celebration this week. The Reformed Temperance League, who frown upon that sort of thing, have been causing problems once more. After last month's horrific attack on The Last Round bar, this week saw their Militia mount a raid on the Scoftlaw's Rest during "happy hour." It seems that every bar, ale house or grog shop is a potential target. The Militiamen were soon seen off however, as most patrons of the Rest were suitably well-armed. Despite the reported hail of lead, none were killed in the League's latest crusade for sobriety. The bar’s owner, Vislor Maxill, reports over 1000 credits worth of damage. "They even shot up all the crates of Shoggoth's Old Peculiar I'd just got in. That stuff is rarer than an Escher misogynist...” Eye-witness Ernesto Cuccinni, local reputable businessman, commented "I was having a quiet business meeting with several associates when these nutjobs burst in. A little inconvenient 1 thought, but what you gonna do. Anyways, Little Paulie here is quite the shot, he er... likes to hunt giant rats at the weekend. Security's a little tighter at my joints, I'd like to see these wackos hit any of those." A long-time patron of the Rest known only as "Gumball" spoke to us. whilst mopping synth-ale from his shoe, "it's the first bar brawl I've been in where anyone's been sober!" One of the League’s stated oppositions to alcohol and fungoid-based intoxicants is that they lead to violence. We approached the League and challenged this claim by highlighting the violent acts of their tee-total Militias. A senior spokesman commented that “Of course alcohol leads to violence - without the existence of these booze dens and grog shops to purvey said alcohol, there would be no need for us to mount violent attacks against them...". CLASSIFIEDS Wanted Juve for special job in Bilge Tunnels. Must be less than 32" waist. Apply 'Porky' in the Southern Comer Bar. + + + Who is Johann Gaunt? + + + Lost One false eye. Return to The Cyclops by Box 134 OR I WILL TAKE YOURS. + + + Jobless? In debt? Bored? Join DEACON'S PROSPECTORS and make your fortune today! Looking for HONEST MEN to scour the underhivc for LOST TREASURES and HIDDEN RICHES ALWAYS give a FAIR SHARE! Own firearms preferred but not essential - will be provided on a first-come-first-served basis NEED NO EXPERIENCE! ALL APPLICANTS CONSIDERED! Ask for DEACON at the Prospector's Yard, next to Totter's Lane. + + + Volunteers Wanted Sick of undcrhive gangs? Want regular meals, steady pay and caring superiors? Join the Necromunda Hive Guard Regiments! Safe, rear-line service and a local deployment is GUARANTEED. + + + Mr. Pharmacist, won't you please give me some energy? All the nutrition of three daily meals in one tiny cube. Ask your pharmacist for NutriCubes today! Produced by Drago & Drago Inc. YOUR ADVERT HERE! THE HIGHEST CIRCULATION OF ANY PAPER IN BILGEWATER FOR COSTS. CONTACT: NYSSA VALERIS - 76. RUSTED SUMP WAY. BILGEWATER CREEK THE VIEWS OF OUR ADVERTISING CLIENTS ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE ENDORSED BY THE EDITORIAL OFFICE *Dom t Cc<tuc AoHte cvitAout yuci Hand Flamer Aprafartaf Incineration"' Technologies (A Gtwra UinxSwf. ERADICATES:* Mur*™ AND AIL MANNER OF ’ HIVE VERMINT A UUST-HAVÏ FOR THE DISCERNING RiDfMPTiOMST! 13407344
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