Шварц нипридавал, Тейлор и Миллер - жопошники!
Его зачем-то Кхорном обозвали на этой пикче.
Но ничего, на этот случай у меня есть альтернативная картинка:
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Нургл против принятия себя таким, какой он есть, хотя все остальные убеждают его в обратном.
Khorne: Just be yourself.
Nurgle: 'Be myself'? Khorne, I have one day to win Tzeentch over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Slaanesh: Couple weeks.
Emperor: Six months.
Malal: Jury’s still out.
Nurgle: See, Khorne?
Nurgle: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

Кхорн и Нургл - прилежные ученики, Тзинч, Слаанеш и Император - двоечники-раздолбаи. А Малала нет, лол.
'Can I copy the homework?'
Khorne: I can help you with it!
Nurgle: Yeah, sure.
Tzeentch: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
Slaanesh: lol nope.
Emperor: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!
Malal: *Read 5:55pm*

Удивительно, но в этот раз персонажи дейтсвуют в аккурат со своим амплуа - злой Кхорн, добродушный Нургл, мозготрах-Тзинч, гедонист-Слаанеш, кэп-Император и злобно-ехидный Малал.
Khorne: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Nurgle: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents
Khorne: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Tzeentch: Actually I did the math, Nurgle would have $225, not $0.15.
Nurgle: Fam I’m right here....
Slaanesh: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Khorne: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Slaanesh: Sorry I only have a dollar
Khorne: :(
Tzeentch: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Nurgle would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Slaanesh: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Tzeentch: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Emperor: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Tzeentch: Apply juice to what
Malal: Directly to the forehead
Nurgle: Great chat everyone

Угоревший по гедонизму Тзинч, мертвый Император и ненавидящий всех Малал. Как видим, практически все на своих местах.
Khorne: Croissants: dropped
Nurgle: Road: works ahead
Tzeentch: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Slaanesh: Shavacado: fre
Emperor: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Malal:
Malal, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Злой Кхорн матерится, а Малал не может и от того еще злее. А еще потому что Император и Тзинч подкалывают его на этот счет.
Khorne: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Nurgle: >:O language
Tzeentch: Yeah watch your fucking language
Slaanesh: OKAY WHO TAUGHT TZEENTCH THE FUCK WORD?
Emperor: 'The fuck word'.
Malal: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Tzeentch: Oh my god they censored it
Emperor: Say fuck, Malal.
Tzeentch: Do it, Malal. Say fuck.
Император Хорусу после заварушки на Истваане:
Emperor: What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Horus Lupercal: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.
Emperor: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Император не одобряет увлечение Хоруса некронами:
Emperor: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!
Horus Lupercal: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

Почему-то на барже Хорус побежал не к Императору, а от него.
Emperor: Violence isn't the answer.
Horus Lupercal: You’re right.
Emperor: *sighs in relief*
Horus Lupercal: Violence is the question.
Emperor: What?
Horus Lupercal, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Emperor, running after them: NO-

Либо, напротив, подбежал и обнимал слишком сильно и долго.
Emperor: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Horus Lupercal: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?
Emperor: No! Four to five seconds!

Император и Хорус меняются местами (казалось бы, причем тут Альфарий?).
Emperor: How many kids do you have?
Horus Lupercal: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?
Horus Lupercal: Too late!!!

Кхорн-пацифист объясняется со Слаанеш.
Khorne: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!
Slaanesh: Really? Name one law
Khorne: Don't kill people?
Slaanesh: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

Кхорн и Слаанеш флиртуют (с точки зрения Слаанеш, конечно).
Khorne: I’m going to take you out
Slaanesh: great, it’s a date!
Khorne: I meant that as a threat.
Slaanesh: See you at five!

Кхорн и Слаанеш поменялись местами (Альфарий, опять ты?).
Khorne: Am I in trouble?
Slaanesh: Take a guess.
Khorne: No?
Slaanesh: Take another guess.

Опять поменялись (Альфарий, прекращай!).
Khorne: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?
Slaanesh: Stop romanticizing the past.

И опять поменялись (Альфарий, кончай!).
Khorne: So are we flirting right now?
Slaanesh: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU
Khorne: That doesn’t answer my question

Слаанеш не любит Нургла и помогает Тзинчу в исследовании против рака.
Khorne: So what do you do?
Slaanesh: I work in genetic research, and I'm currently trying to eliminate all Cancers.
Khorne: Wow, impressive.
Slaanesh: Then I'll move on to Leos.

Опять поменялись (блэт ЭЛЬФЕРИЙ).
Khorne: I actually have a black belt.
Slaanesh: In what, karate?
Khorne: No, from Gucci.

Кхорн пытается в магию (лол что?).
Khorne: I was thinking I'd do some magic-
Slaanesh: You? Magic? Khorne, it says talent show.

Скромняга-Слаанеш и помирившийся с ним/ней Кхорн.
Khorne: Welcome, fellow idiots
Slaanesh: Hello, Khorne
Khorne: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
Slaanesh: You underestimate me

И снова поменялись (блэт ЭЛЬДАРИЙ).
Khorne: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Slaanesh: That's why I carry two swords.

И опять (блэт БИБЛИАРИЙ).
Khorne: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming
Slaanesh: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

Тзинч пытается косить под Кхорна либо наоборот.
Khorne: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Slaanesh: You need to stop.

Слаанеш любит туфли на высоких каблуках, а Кхорн - нет.
Khorne, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me
Slaanesh, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

Кровь для бога крови!
Khorne: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE
Slaanesh: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially
Khorne, desperately, as Slaanesh bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Slaanesh: Oh! B positive.
Khorne: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Slaanesh:

Опять поменялись (блэт ЭЛЬДРАДИЙ).
*Khorne and Slaanesh skipping stones on lake*
Khorne: It’s such a beautiful evening.
Slaanesh, whispering: Take that you fucking lake
Сука. Сразу "Fallout" вспомнился - в частности, история про то, как он скатился.
А. Вспомнил. Только никак не пойму - почему?
А как же Малал?